Monday 26 December 2016

Two Patients: In the psychiatrist's office

"I cut myself", he said, "I cut myself",
Twitching as the words
Slipped off his lips,
Psychiatrist; middle-aged woman
Laser-sharp gaze soul-piercing; judgemental-
"Why do you do it?"
"Don't you know that you could
Get infected?"
"Does it not hurt when you do it?"

Psychiatric words neatly whetted
Whet neatly his neatly knitted fear.
Facedown, restless feet, itchy ears, Trembling voice-
"Ma, it hurts...", sniffles, "...very much"
"So much that I dread a bath, Or the wearing of clothes
For fear of pain reminiscent"
..."but Ma, this pain, my pain, is no pain at all
For it hurts only my flesh,
Unlike the ache within;
The faceless wound that bleeds
Nonstop; my injured soul"
"Madam, without ice, a fractured
Bone will swell until it is further
Fractured"
"Ma, the razor is my ice"

Room; dead quiet, save
Air-conditioner that hummed
A song melancholic.
Patient facedown, awaiting further
Judgement, itchy eyes, itchy ears,
Itchy palms, nose itchy.
Impatient, cramping thighs force
Rebellious shriek,
"Madam what are these
On your arms...are they
Not scars...?"
"You cut too...don't you?"

Reluctant shrug, head lowered
Like a dozing labourer-

Chaotic silence,
Time up;
Two patients in need of a psychiatrist.

Friday 12 August 2016

Three Dreams

              Part 1: Wild Encounters

Resting in my Mother's bosom,
Surrounded by Edenic trees,
The evening wind lulls me
To a Jonah-siesta;
Sometimes God is the wind,
    Sometimes he is not.
Sometimes the Devil also saddles
On the wind
And attacks man. Me. Man.

I am the afflicted.
The evening wind lulls me
To a Jonah-siesta;
And Satan light as a feather
Tickles my ears.
I smile.
I smile in my sleep.
Mother sees not Satan.
But i do, i see him, i see him
With my yin eyes.

The feather is a serpent's
tongue in my ear;
Sssssssssssssss...
          
               It strikes!

Fear wakes me,
This is the first dream.

              Part 2: Assassination

Running, running, running,
In Amazon-like jungle, and
Someone pursuing, pursuing;
I am prey.

I turn, i wait not, keep turning,
Leech on my thigh, don't care
Keep running,
Someone pursuing, pursuing;
I am the prey.

I see nothing...
The darkness is thicker
Than the sperm of a god,
I see nothing...
But run I will,
I won't stop running.

Trip. Tumble. Turn. Tumble.
Roll. Stone-to-head, head-to-stone
Bam! Bam! Bam!
I stop rolling.
My assailant has caught up with me,
Then heaven sneezes, and
Light cuts through the Darkness;
I see his face.
Ah!
      My friend!

This is the second dream.

              Part 3: Burial

32-carat gold coffin; there
I am lying in death, comfortable.
I am standing by my dead body,
Looking, puzzled, looking puzzled,
I am dead and alive,
I am alive and dead.
Should we resurrect the dead...
Or kill the living?

Family members wailing, ululation
For my sleep; terrible lullaby.
Can they not see me standing?

Stop crying, i'm right here.
Stop crying.
Please...

This is the third dream.

              Part 4: Fulfilment

Write the vision down,
That he may run that readeth it.
For the vision is yet
for an appointed time,
But at the end it shall speak,
And not lie: though it tarry,
Wait for it,
Because it will surely come,
It will not tarry;

I didn't write my visions,
They didn't tarry;
Here I am, on an hospital bed
Poisoned by the atter
Of life's bullet
Life is my friend, a serpent,
And my coffin.

I didn't write my visions;
They didn't tarry.
My friend kissed my wife
And poisoned my tea...
Now i'm barely hanging onto life
With Death on my lips;

**Lick**

Saturday 6 August 2016

Lust

I had beaten my heart
To a pulp,
So much that I felt nothing anymore.
But as she touched my face
I felt a lightening bolt
Bolt me
in the chest...
Yes the middle of my chest...
Right there,
I felt her electricity.

And that's how I knew...
She was the one.

But who knows
It may be lust.

It may be lust.
God, let it not be lust;

For I have lost too many soulmates
To lust.

Thursday 4 August 2016

She kissed me

She kissed me! She kissed me!
And in that moment,
In that moment;
I found salvation

                     in Hell.

Cancer

Like a cancer she
Keeps popping up
In my heart,

Consuming     consuming
Consuming everything
In her path.

Why...?

Like iron filing to magnet
Evil attracts me.

I am man. Man is evil.
God is good. God hates evil.

So why did he die for me?

If you say because He loves me;
Do not forget,
He hates evil. I am evil.
I am man. God hates evil.
I am evil.

So why did he die for me?

Or maybe...
I am not evil;
That way it makes sense!
God loves me! I am not evil!
But why do i do evil?
Why do I love to do evil?
Why did God die for someone
Who loves to do evil?

That right there
       is the real mystery
For the universe to ponder upon.